Snakes on a Plane = Genius

The idea was genius. Make a movie that is a completely random based on an idea that is completely ludicrous, give it a crazy title, do zero advertising, and let the movie generate hype through the new generation’s version of word of mouth: blogging.

Pure genius. The trailer basically says nothing at all, which in essence is the beauty of the whole marketing concept of the movie…you don’t need to say anything at all as the title gives it away – the movie is going to be about snakes on a plane. Give up that much, and leave it up to the bloggers to market the movie. And market it they have. People have come up with their own trailers, songs, scenes…everything. The movie has taken the country by storm, and now after all the waiting, the movie is finally out.

Now, being in Hong Kong at the moment and not having had the opportunity to watch the movie, I have been eager to see what kind of reception it gets in the US, and frankly, I have been surprised by how serious some critics have taken it, like they are expecting Snakes on Brokeback Mountain or something. I mean, seriously, how groundbreaking is the movie going to be? I haven’t even seen it and I know it will be basically a mindless action movie which requires 0% brainpower which will have you leaving the theater thinking “Well then, that is what all the hype was about…wanna go grab a beer?” The movie isn’t supposed to make you think “Oh my, what a fabulous story…the plot was amazing from start to finish…a true experience that made me see the other side of the madness that is snakes on a plane…”

According to some critics this movie, sold completely on viral marketing, failed to live up to the hype…Seriously? Wasn’t the hype that it would suck? That it would be just what the title made it out to be: a B movie based on a concept that someone must have come up with while they were wasted, with one line which is supposed to make the movie? This isn’t rocket science, so I wonder, how can you fail to live up to the hype, when you yourself have not hyped the movie at all?

Those few uptight critics aside, people have apparently liked the movie, enjoying it’s quirky plot and all the creative ways that the snakes kill people. Peter Howell, a movie critic for the Toronto Star, said it best in his review:

This is one cheesy movie, bereft of logic and scornful of everything from the law of gravity to physiological fundamentals regarding how long a person can survive with a lethal dose of toxin running through their veins.

But it’s cheese of the highest quality, and smart enough to know just how dumb it really is. It even resorts to that hoariest of 1970s disaster movie clichés, that of the feisty stewardess (Julianna Margulies) flying the aircraft. And it winks while doing so.

Make absolutely no mistake about this. Snakes on a Plane takes full advantage of two of the biggest fears of modern man — air travel and snake bites — and combines them into a terrifying (and terribly funny) package that may well put you off flying for life.

In short, Snakes on a Plane delivers exactly what it promised and then some. And how often can you say that about a movie these days?

Not bad for a movie that cost less than $40mm to make, and on opening night made $1.4mm. This summer, when movies like The DaVinci Code and Pirates 2 have, in my opinion, failed to live up to their hype, it seems to be refreshing to find a movie that lives up to the hype while providing some mindless entertainment and a few laughs. I’ll tell you who is laughing the most though - Sam Jackson, New Line Cinema, and the rest of the cast…laughing all the way to the bank.

Cheers,
Taps

P.S. For those who have seen the movie, please comment! I want to know what you thought…

New Baby Bounty – omg wtf…

Earlier this month I blogged about smart eggs that display ink when they are boiled properly…I wrote that reading about those eggs was a ‘wtf’ moment…well, reading about what I am about to blog on was an ‘omg wtf’ moment…

According to a CNNMoney article, Country Music Television is going to air a TV a show which will “will pay $50,000 to the mother of the first baby born in the United States during the “Labor” Day weekend premiere of comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s “new baby” — a sketch comedy show called “Foxworthy’s Big Night Out,” first airing Friday, Sept. 1.”

So essentially, the first person who has a baby at 8:30/7:30c on Labor Day (ha…ha….:-\) will get $50k. And get this – according to the show’s homepage, in order to maintain the show, they are going to give away $5,000 to the mother who’s child is born at 8:30/7:30c on 11 subsequent Fridays. AND, they are going to give $1,000 to the person who reports the first baby being born…

So, aside from the obvious OMG WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE comment, there a number of things that are disurbing about this. First, what is wrong with TV today. Seriously. There has to be some truth to the saying that everything has an equal opposite, the other end of the spectrum…because for all the great shows on TV (24, Entourage, Grey’s, House to name some of my favorites), this takes the cake for being the most f***ed up terrible crappy ridiculous television idea I have ever seen. I mean seriously, to the guys who are running Country Music Television, what on earth are you thinking? Can you imagine the pitch for this?

“Hey Steve, I have this great idea for a show see. With Labor Day weekend coming up, why don’t we do a show on women in labor? Get it – Labor Day weekend…Labor…hyuk.”

“Hey Bob, that sounds like a great idea! Now how will we get people to watch it?…hmmm…I know! We can give away money! People always watch shows that give away money!”

“Great idea Steve! Whew, that was exhausting…what a long day at work. Why don’t we go relax with a brew and my ol’ country guitar?”

“Sounds good Bob…I can’t wait to play that new Garth Brooks song…”

So, aside from the terrible premise that the show is based upon, there is also a more serious issue here. $50,000 is a lot of money…more than most people make in a year. With so much at stake, who thinks that more than a few women will try to induce labor in order to try and be the first one to have the child? People have done far worse for far less money…needless to say, this would be extremely dangerous, and both mother and child would be put at serious risk…but for $50,000, some might just be willing to do it…

Once again, this all begs the question of why? Why on earth would you EVER come up with a show like this? It is beyond me…but if any indication of Country Music Television’s future, then I know I won’t be watching it any more…

Oh wait, I forgot…I don’t watch it now…

Leave one.

Cheers,
Taps

 

New Pepsi CEO – A woman…and an Indian

Yesterday PepsiCo, a Fortune 500 company with an annual revenue of $32.6 bn in 2005, announced that they will appoint Ms. Indra Nooyi as the new CEO and will replace Steven Reinemund in October. This was a huge move by the the world famous softdrink maker, and, while the move was not surprising, it is still significant.

In October, Nooyi will join an elite group of women – the group that you address as “CEO” - among which some of the more notables are Meg Whitman of eBay and Anne Mulcahy of Xerox. This small set of women, now totaling 12 among Fortune 500 companies, have the responsibility of leading their respective companies forward, the success or failure of the company riding on their backs. If the company is doing well, the CEO gets praise, recognition, and often, a hefty bonus. If the company tanks, the CEO more-often-than-not gets the boot. This is a lot of responsibility, responsibility that until recently wasn’t bestowed upon women. However, in today’s modern market, women are getting bumped up the corporate ladder faster and at a greater rate than they used to. While the statistics still remain skewed (almost 50% of the working population is female while only about 10% hold corporate officer positions) despite the fact that female-run companies have been shown to outperform their male-run counterparts, people are beginning to realize that women can do this job too.

Pepsi’s appointment of Nooyi is a special one however, for she is not only the female CEO of one of the most well known brands ever, but she is also the only Indian CEO amongst the Fortune 500 companies. Which was more surprising for you, that Pepsi appointed a female, or that she was the only Indian? I would have to say the latter…

With the number of Indians that are in the corporate world in the United States today, I must say, I personally found it surprising that the future Pepsi CEO is the only one amongst the F500 that is Indian. Perhaps I am being biased in thinking that with the success Indians have seen in the US, it is only logical to assume that there are Indian CEOs, but is no one in the least bit surprised by the fact that she is the only current one?

This Madras born CEO is said to be a great fit for the company. Having formerly served as the CFO of the company, according to Reinemund,  ”[he] is convinced she is more than qualified and clearly ready for her new role leading PepsiCo.” This will by no means be an easy task, and she she will have to have a running start as the company currently faces bans in India due to reports that their products contain harmful pestecides, but should she handle the responsibility well and take Pepsi to new heights it will be a great step for both women and Indians alike.

Ms. Nooyi, good luck.

Cheers,
Taps

What decides?

The following post is somewhat verbose and not relevant to any current topic…I apologize ahead of time for any pointless ramblings that take place… 

While having some drinks this past Friday night with some buddies of mine, we got into a discussion not typical of your standard bar conversation. Now, although the conversation might have started due to the alcoholic ramblings of how relaxed we all were that night, glad to be there together, it evolved into an in depth discussion about life and each of our places in the world. While one of my friends was talking about how glad he was that he had met us all etc. etc. (you know the conversation…everyone who has consumed alcohol in excess has been a part of one), one of my friends (who turned out to be extremely deep and philosophical when plastered) asked, “What decided that we would all be here together, sitting in Hong Kong, drinking beers together? Who decided that we would all meet and become friends?” This led into a discussion about faith vs. fate and raised the ultimate question, the question that I now bring to you and ask you to comment on your thoughts: What decides?

What decides? Answering this question is like counting the number of chairs in a stadium one-by-one…no matter how hard you try, you will never get the same answer twice…the quest towards ultimate truth has often been derailed by this idea of what decides the things that happen on a daily basis. Some say we decide our own lives. Who decided that we would be born? Our parents did you may say. Who decided that our parents would meet and get married? Indians might say, “Their parents…” Non-Indians may say ”love” or “fate”. Do these concepts really exist? What decided that we would call them such things? That there would be opposites in the universe, black vs. white, tall vs. short, light vs. dark?

Was it a supernatural power, a higher being in some far off place called heaven? If so, what decided that he, she, it, whatever it is, would have supreme rule over life on this planet? Who is the the higher power’s boss that decides what the higher power does? 

In the end, each decision that is made is a decision subsequent to a previous decision that was made. But what makes that ultimate decision? Everything has a beginning…when was the first decision that was made?  A question that will not be answered in my lifetime, but a good one to talk about nonetheless. So next time you are at a bar, and have nothing to talk about it, ask the question: who decides? It makes for some great drunken banter, let me tell you..

Cheers,
Taps

Terrorism in the UK thwarted…with significant repercussions for flyers

From what I have read, the recent terrorism bust in the UK is perhaps the biggest known terrorism bust this century. From my understanding, terrorists in the UK who had plans to blow up 10 planes going from the UK to the US were caught while doing a ‘dry run’ of the plan on Thursday, trying to see how exactly they would smuggle a peroxide based solution (one that could ignite when sparked by a flash or another electrical device) onto the plane. Now, I am not going to discuss the radical movement taking place in the world, nor am I going to discuss the growing threat of terrorism and its repercussions on the global community. These are discussions that need to be had over the course of time, in a mature and rational manner, free from anger and fear, that takes into account all sides, the ’gray area’, when it comes to religion, belief and humanity. Instead, I am going to discuss the effects that these acts have on airline passengers and then beg the question: is this all necessary?

According to a statement issued by the Department of Transport in the UK, from now until further notice passengers will only be allowed to carry the following items on board:
- Pocket sized wallets/purses
- Passport/ticket
- Prescription meds, except in liquid form unless authenticated (apparently the way you authenticate it is by taking some when you are clearing security)
- Glasses without cases
- Contact lenses w/o solution
- For those with babies, milk (that, once again, needs to be tasted), and enough sanitary items for the flight
- Keys, but no electrical fobs

And that’s it. Nothing else. You may ask, “But what about books?” Sorry, try again later. iPod? Nope. Laptop? Keep dreaming. You will not be allowed to carry anything except the above onto the plane, and that too, what you have you will have to carry in a clear plastic bag. You cannot carry anything in your pockets. Period.

Needless to say, this is causing some uproar amongst frequent UK travelers. All of a sudden you have to change the way you have flown for however long in order to comply with the new standards…which begs the question, is this really necessary? Are we really that much safer because I can’t carry my copy of The DaVinci Code onto to plane? Because my sister can’t listen to her iPod? While I understand the need to ensure the safety of the passengers is the first priority of any airline, and at present, with a terrorist attack still very much a possibility, the security upgrade in place is justified, should the airline regulators make this the ruling on all future travel instead of simply at present, what would happen? 

I would expect to see a lot less travel through the UK. It would just be too much of a hassle, too much of an inconvenience. Lines would be long, security checks extensive, and for what? To allow society to once again feel that we are safe from harm? That terrorists can’t get us? Sure, rules like this might keep terroists out of planes, maybe, but if you really wanted to, you could spend time and devise ways to get around the system. And then what? Another thwarted terrorist attempt followed by more stringent security policies? Keep this up and sooner or later planes will each be equipped with our own little seat bubbles, flying naked, and having zero interaction with other passengers while getting fed through tubes…

Who benefits? And is the benefit really worth the hassle? In this world, one defined by opportunity cost, this option versus the next best, where is the line to be drawn in terms of airline security? Is some additional safety worth convenience?

Let me know what you guys think. I am interested in finding out if it is just me who would be quite pissed off if the current security measures became the norm…

Cheers,
Taps

Is this just the beginning?

Apple WWDC: Keynote doesn’t meet high expectations

You have to hand it to Apple. They have set so many bars so high as far as their WWDC Keynote goes that everyone sets very high expectations, and anything short of spectacular fails to satiate the desires of the die-hard Apple fan.

This year the Apple team failed to meet expectations, expectations set very high thanks to Internet rumors, the upcoming Zune release, and past Keynotes. While the Keynote was very good on the basis of new products (Mac Pro) and software (Leopard), there was nothing too special or unexpected, contrary to what we are used to seeing from Stevie J. and his team. No news on a new iPod, no new laptop, and alas, no cell phone. Apple’s stock price reflected the relative surprise at the lack of new products, dropping $1.09 (1.6%) on the day…(this could be due to a number of other factors, including the delayed filings release, as well as the general market hesitation due to the upcoming FOMC meeting…but for the purposes of this blog, I am going to attribute this to the WWDC…;))

However, sitting up at 1am in Hong Kong while reading the live update proved to be quite fun, and some great stuff was announced.

Mac Pro

This beast of an computer was released yesterday. Coming in at a base ofr around $2500, this machine is built for the hard core, with 4.8 million different configurations available…specs are up there and puts this as one of the fastest computers available. The crazy part…up to 2 terabytes of space…that’s 2000 GB! That’s quite a few season’s of Entourage…

OSX Leopard

The new installment of the OS looks to be pretty f***ing awesome. They have added a whole slew of new enhancements, the most significant being programs called Time Machine (automatically backs up all files…you lose the HD, you are ok…you lose one file, you are ok…man, how I could have used this 3 months ago) and Spaces, a program that allows you to have different virtual desktops and group all your stuff together. For example, if you are working on your WordPress blog, iTunes, Powerpoint and Excel for work, email, and surfing ESPN and Appleinsider (hmm…kind of looks like what I am doing right now), you can group these into different categories and open up the different desktops…looks pretty neat. Significant strides have also been made in Mail, iCal and iChat. And this is only the stuff they are choosing to disclose, because who knows who will copy it…*cough* Microsoft *cough*.

Leopard is set to ship in the Spring of ‘07, but unlike the boys up in Washington, Apple actually tends to release stuff earlier, so who knows…Feb ‘07 maybe? Pretty solid birthday present…

All products and software aside, my favorite part of the Keynote this year was the all out attack that was made on Microsoft, Apple basically said that Vista is copying Tiger in a number of areas, so on so forth. I thought that this was hilarious. They had signs up which said “Hasta la vista, Vista” and “Redmond has a cat, too. A copycat.” The most blatant attack on Microsoft I have seen Apple make, perhaps ever, they even showed how Vista copied Tiger IN THEIR KEYNOTE! Great stuff…

On the whole, not what I was expecting (or hoping for), but positive none the less. This week should see Apple lovers everywhere excited about the new releases, and hoping that the holiday season will bring the long desired products that everyone has been waiting to see.

Cheers,
Taps

Mixed musings 1

With 2 hours and 46 minutes until the beginning of the WWDC, I am getting edgy…and with little on my mind other than WWDC, summer internships, and how long it will be until I am back in the US, instead of writing a blog on a single topic, I thought I might voice some opinion on a variety of different topics. Let me know what you think.

Chinese ”Anger Bar” – Interesting…
According to a BBC article, a man in China has opened up a bar where the clientele is allowed to beat up the staff. At this bar the customers are allowed to “smash glass, rant and even hit specially trained workers” in order to vent their frustrations at anything and everything…work, school, lack of a love life, the fact that the WWDC is still 2 hours and 36 minutes away…customers can basically go off and just hit something.

Now, the sadistic side of me has always wanted to feel what it is like to deck someone. Haven’t you ever heard a guy on a bike coming up from behind you, and something inside you wants to raise your hand and have the guy flip backwards like Jet Li in The One. This could just be the place where you could release these inner urges and frustrations. Now, granted, all of the staff members are fully padded and properly trained, so you aren’t going to hurt him…unless you break a bottle over his head…

Interesting concept. Don’t know how good it is for you though…might cause people to become more violent…try out some stuff on their kid siblings…but interesting concept. I think they have it in the US already though…it is called the Keg of Evanston in the summer…except the people aren’t padded and it is guns instead of bottles…

Tiger Woods: Tiger – 2, Rest of golf – 0
This past weekend Tiger Woods played in the Buick Open, his first tournament since his emotional victory at the British Open. Different tournament, same result. Like the British Open, Tiger went into this round with the lead, and like the British Open (and almost every tournament he goes into the final round of with a lead) Mr. Woods won. With 4 rounds of 66 and a final overall score of -24, Tiger Woods becomes the youngest player to reach 50 tour victories…seems like he has been doing that a lot…youngest to win 10 majors, youngest to win 50 PGA Tour titles, youngest to marry a hot Swedish model with a twin sister…Tiger Woods…man is crazy. Too damn good. And for anyone who is keeping score, I do believe I called it…;-)

Mel Gibson – Bad drunk or Anti-Semite?
I don’t know how much you guys have been following this whole Mel Gibson thing…for those of you who haven’t heard, Mel was caught drunk driving last week and when he was being interrogated he apparently went on an anti-Semitic rant, and used a whole bunch of racial slurs when addressing a Jewish cop. Needless to say, this made the press (thanks to everyone’s favorite gossip website, TMZ.com) and all of a sudden Mel Gibson went from Hollywood hero to a drunk-driving Jew hater.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I have seen quite a few belligerent drunks in my day and needless to say, some pretty heinous stuff comes out of their mouths. Now, while this is not right by any means, people do some stupid stuff when they are drunk (one of the side effects of alcohol…it should go on the bottle…”Will make one act out of character, lose all sense of time, possibly vomit out the most recent meal, and on the whole, do stupid shit”…) and Mel Gibson is no exception. Now, the man was drunk driving, which is what I think should really be what people are focusing on. But this is being overshadowed by the fact that he made Passions of the Christ, what some consider to be an anti-Semitic movie, and now goes off on a drunken tirade against Jews, and so he has been labelled as anti-Jewish. There is even a movement to boycott his movies! I mean come on…so the guy got drunk and said some stuff, big deal. Will that make me stop going to his movies? No. He could have said all sorts of stuff against my country, my beliefs, my school, Apple… and I would STILL go watch his movies, because he is a damn good actor. Braveheart is one of the best movies ever made! For a great actor to be judged by one mistake isn’t right…imagine if we were all judged on the one stupid thing we did…

Fair? I don’t think so…

So, now that I have spent enough time talking to people at work and writing this blog, the time has passed and the WWDC is now about to start. SO PUMPED!

Look for another Apple post real soon.

Cheers,
Taps

Apple blog #1: iChat Mobile – I sure freakin’ hope so…

So, it is now 4 days before Apple’s WWDC, and with all the rumors about what they are going to release flying around cyberspace faster than Britney is popping out babies, I thought it would be about time to write my own Apple related blog. Being a complete Apple guy myself (ask anyone…not the Apple Campus Rep for nothing you know…), I love all things Apple, even the stock (which I told my dad to invest in because with the Keynote coming up on Monday that baby is bound to rise…mark my words, $80/share here we come). It is about time to write about it right?

So, with all these rumors flying around, you don’t know what is fact, what is a rumor based on fact, and what is utter b.s. Now, as Apple has the tendency to keep ALL their new products locked down tighter than Alcatraz (most of the time people working within Apple don’t even know what is going on), tech hounds have to rely on rumor pages, blogs and the like to get some idea of what might be going on inside 1 Infinite Loop. And so here we are, unsure of what Apple will unveil at the WWDC (except a new OS, which is an almost certainty…but even then, with Apple you never know!) and so anything and everything is being thrown out there: An upgrade of the Power Mac, now called the Mac Pro…a 13″ Macbook Pro…new iPod Nano that will replace the shuffle…iPod Nano with more capacity…and a slew of others…but my personal favorite rumor has been all the talk about a possible Apple phone.

Now, as my girlfriend will attest, I am a phone junkie. I am always looking to buy the cool new phone (A.Go: Was considering buying a new one today! Hehe), and if my bank account would allow it, I would probably own 3 or 4. Being both a phone junkie and an Apple junkie, an Apple phone would be perfect (and cost efficient) for me. So I have been reading the blogs, checking the sites, and basically eagerly awaiting Monday’s Keynote (1pm EST) while praying for an Apple phone, because there is something you have to understand – in this day and age, if it is made by Apple, it will be awesome. It will be sleek, classy, user friendly and sync with everything else Mac. So when I am going about my regular routine and checking out CNNMoney.com like always and I see Apple’s new phone: iChat Mobile on the front page, that, coupled with all the talk of the phone, gets me really excited. Mind you, the article is essentially a blog, but come on, it is a CNN freaking blog! According to the article, another website, Engadget (which is displaying the following pic on their site), says this is what the “iPhone” (a name that cannot be used since it is already taken by a VOIP company, so people say it will be called iChat Mobile) will look like:

Now, this phone doesn’t necessarily have what it takes to be an Apple phone, and a few things don’t make sense (like why would you have the camera on the back…how would you video conference? Also, why would you put a iPod shuffle controls on the thing? It would have to be a lot smoother than this…the pic looks like a pretty solid 3D rendering, but not Apple enough in my opinion). But irrespective of all that stuff, this is the closest thing that I have seen to a pretty decent rendering of what the phone could look really look like. That, and the one that Such has on his blog. There is this fake ad that is on YouTube which is also pretty amazing, and I think that this would be far cooler than the above, as unlikely as it seems. As far as I’m concerned, I just want them to release it. They have to at some point…and you know they are working on it. This was proven by an AppleInsider guy (who incidentally has way to much freakin’ time on his hands) that found some interesting code in the latest iPod software:

While Apple has been relatively mum on any plans for iPod-branded cell phone, the latest iPod software includes references to an “t_feature_app_PHONE_APP” application and variables such as “kPhoneSignalStrength,” “clPhoneCallHistoryModel,” prPhoneSettingsMenu,” “prPhoneSettingsMenuView,” prPhoneEnableSetting” and “prPhoneMenuItem.”

The phone references within the iPod software are unlikely in relation to Motorola’s iTunes Music phones because those phones do not run the iPod operating system, the member pointed out in his analysis. The references also appear to be unrelated Apple’s address book syncing.

So, take everything into account and it seems that an Apple phone is coming. Or so we hope. Apple has taken some great strides recently (also announced today: 70% of all new GM, Ford and Mazda cars will have iPod integration built in so you can connect your iPod to the car stereo system…already present in BMW and Mercs), it’s products are becoming something of a status symbol. Should they release a phone, it will fit right in (it better be GSM though…I would be so pissed if it was a CDMA phone). And if they do, talk about the Apple stock going way past $80.

Maybe my dad will buy me the phone with the money he makes off of it… 

Cheers,
Taps

This picture courtesy of CNNMoney…and is one of the coolest renderings I have seen…if it looks like this, well, wow! Big screen and iPod control on one side, phone presumably on the other…done and done.

The ’smart egg’ – wtf…

Learning how to cook is something I never really had a strong desire to do. Maybe since I am moving into an apartment next month, that will all change, but until now I have not really had the desire to call myself a ‘chef’. I mean, I can make the standard stuff: sandwich, hot dog, burger, salad, pasta…but that is about it…not a master by any means, but I won’t “burn the toast”, as some people say.

Another common saying equated with basic cooking ability is “I can boil an egg…”, a task which should be pretty standard right? Well, apparently boiling an egg is so hard that the British Egg Information Service (seriously? An egg information service?) has come up with an egg that, according to The Times, is a ”self-timing egg imbued with the powers of heat-sensitive invisible ink that turns black the minute that it is ready. All you need to do is decide whether you prefer your eggs soft, medium or hard-boiled, and buy accordingly.”

So basically, boiling an egg is SO HARD that this group of people had to go and spend money (money that could have been put to better use, I am sure) to figure out a way to add invisible ink that will appear on the egg. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I mean, maybe on pork chops, or some steak, or tandoori chicken, this type of thing would be helpful (given that it disappeared after a few minutes so those eating the stuff don’t know your trick), but on a freakin’ egg? Has the desire to do as little work as possible while achieving the same level of quality taken over society to the point where eggs are now being labelled and will tell you when they are ready? I mean, the toast popping out of the toaster when it is done is one thing, but tell-you-when-they-are-ready eggs? A spokeswoman for Lion Quality Eggs stated that “this is a big issue – people can’t even boil an egg.” Maybe these people got confused and were trying to boil a chicken…

Sometimes you have to stop yourself and think, what the f***. For me, this was one of those times.

Cheers,
Taps

P.S. You know what I would be impressed by…an egg that would speak when it was ready. “Your soft-boiled egg is ready.” “Your soft-boiled egg is now a medium boiled egg.” “Your soft-boiled egg is now a hard-boiled egg.” “Hey asshole, come get your freakin’ egg!” ;-) 

P.P.S. For anyone I offended while writing this who really doesn’t know how to boil an egg, here is a my step by step guide to boiling an egg:
Step 1: Buy an egg.
Step 2: Put water in a pot and put it on the stove.
Step 3: Place the egg in the water once you see the little bubbles appear.
Step 4: Watch as the little bubbles become big bubbles (phenomenon called boiling…occurs when water reaches 100°C or 212°F)
Step 5: After the egg has been sitting in boiling water for a few minutes, take it out of the water and boom, there you go. A boiled egg. Now eat up.

Phrase “Monopoly money” soon to be outdated

My dad often uses the phrase “Monopoly money” when he is referring to various currencies including the Indonesian Rupiah and Hong Kong Dollar (based on their aesthetics, and in the IDR case, value…or lack thereof). However, according to recent reports, soon he will no longer be able to use this phrase since, well, Monopoly money will cease to exist.

In an effort to keep up with the changing times, where the average person carries around less cash and more plastic, Parker Brothers are revamping their popular board game and replacing the cash with plastic debit cards. Now, I don’t know about you, but I particularly enjoy the cash aspect of the game. Being the banker, doling out the cash to everyone. Any tax/fine/get out of jail free payment going into the middle and then whoever lands on Free Parking gets it all. Making people pay obnoxiously large amounts to get out of jail. 

Many a long night has been spent playing Monopoly, discussing the various intricacies and rule changes that people have made, trying to come up with rules that will best suit you right now. I mean, come on…how many times have people made shady deals in an attempt to screw another played by trading Boardwalk and Baltic Avenue for Indiana, Illinois and Kentucky? It is the best part, changing the rules around, trying to amass as much of the colorful money as possible while trying to force your competition into bankruptcy. I feel that with the new debit card system, this will change. You will no longer be able to make the monster trades, housing exceptions, and collect on free parking. Everything will be more…strict.

While attempting to keep the game up to date as far as the real world, I think that Monopoly should stick by their money. It is an essential part of what makes the game great: kids can learn about properly sorting their money, experienced players can continue to think up crazy rules to improve their current situations, and my dad can keep his phrase (perhaps the most important! ) I personally am going to continue to use my Monopoly set that I have owned since who knows when.

Oh, and just for the record, I have not lost a game of Monopoly in over 9 years, so if anyone is down to play, tell me place and time and I’ll be there.

Cheers,
Taps